Found a new notch on my belt this morning. This is a good thing. Found out yesterday that by eating a small sized bowl of bran I could get 100% of my fiber intake for the day! Woo hoo!
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s (2003) winners:
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray painted very, very high.
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
I flew out of West Palm Beach today at 5:45PM bound for San Jose. The ride is smooth and the sunset out the window was beautiful. We flew right over our house on the way out and my heart skipped a beat when I thought of leaving Shan and John behind. I will have a terribly hard time being away from them for 10 days. On the positive side I have been missing Max and Charlie like crazy and seeing them all weekend will be really special.
Charlie was selected to be on the All Star soccer team at the end of his season last weekend and he’s really excited about it. I feel really good for him – there’s nothing like getting something right and being acknowledged for it. I’ll take Charlie and Max to Charlie’s game this Saturday and then a celebratory picnic on Sunday.
I took some photos of the sunset out of the airplane window and I will be sure to post them when I get access to a card reader.
Next stop is DFW and then on to San Jose after a one hour layover.
Thanks God I have something to write with (this is being thumb typed on my BlackBerry). My laptop is so old and beat up that my battery doesn’t work so I stowed the laptop in my luggage hoping someone will steal it. Just kidding – I love my old laptop – she’s been through the shit with me. The laptop is a modern day equivalent to the trusty sword.
1. I don’t have any idea. About anything.
2. Ignore all the rest because they are just guesses.
3. You can spend a lot of time worrying about things going wrong or breaking.
4. You can’t know how much to worry about the things you worry about.
5. Intentionally left blank.
6. Intentionally left blank.
7. Sometimes life blows – and we’re not talking about the good kind of blows.
8. There are a lot of really stupid rules.
9. There are a lot of galactically stupid people.
10. #9 might have something to do with number #8 but that’s unconfirmed.
10. I’m not sure if there really is a point behind paper toilet seat covers. It seems to me that they might be optional equipment.
10. If reality isn’t real then why do farts have to smell so bad.
10. It’s important to break things on purpose. This helps with #3 and #4.
10. See the thing is…all-you-can-eat buffets are really designed to make restaurants money cause only the fat people eat that much food and stuff.
10. Math never was a strong point.
10. You can never have enough duct tape Duct Tape Guys
10. Don’t worry about taking any wooden nickels. They all burned back in 1935 in the great fire. The people in #9 are still going to worry about wooden nickels anyway.
10. The secret to life is as simple as #5 plainly states.
Oh Shit! https://www.seerygude.com/pics/newkey2_oh_shit.jpg
November 05, 2003
October 29, 2003
Yesterday on Tuesday afternoon Shannon and I went to see our newest addition – Baby X. Baby X is about 13 weeks old and should show up in our world about May 5th, 2004 according to Dr. Biell. Everything with Baby is normal and he/she was quite active during the ultrasound. The debate has begun on if we are going to find out the sex. Neither of us know what we want to do yet. 🙂
Posted by jsg at 06:57 PM